How to Nicely Turn Down Being a Bridesmaid

Sometimes being a bridesmaid isn’t easy. You have too much on the go, limited funds, or quite frankly, just don’t want to be in the wedding party.

We want to tell you something – it is okay to say no to being a bridesmaid.

Here are some tips to politely turn down the offer of being a bridesmaid.

Be Honest. Being a bridesmaid is a big commitment, a lot bigger of a commitment than people realize. We’re sure the bride would rather have a bridesmaid that can be involved in everything, then a bridesmaid who can only make some commitments. Tell her your reasoning for not being able to be a bridesmaid, but let her know that you still support and are happy for her, you just wouldn’t be able to perform all the duties if you were.

In Person. Tell the bride your reasoning for being unable to be a bridesmaid in person. It’s an honour (usually) to be asked to be in a bridal party, and the bride has put quite a bit of though into who she wants standing alongside her on her special day. It’s easy to send a text or email, but it’s much nicer to do it in person. It’s hard to read tone in a message and the bride might be totally offended, or take it the wrong way.

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Yes or No, Not Maybe. There is a lot of planning that goes into a wedding and telling the bride you will “maybe” be a bridesmaid will add a lot of stress for the bride. The sooner you say no, the quicker she can find a different friend or divide the tasks to the other bridesmaids. By saying maybe you can be putting a lot on hold, and the bride will be even more agitated if after all that time you just end up saying no anyways.

Don’t Let it Be Awkward. Just because you said no to being a bridesmaid doesn’t mean that you should dodge seeing the bride and being friends. Make sure you let her know you still love and support her, and that even though you can’t be a bridesmaid you still value your friendship.


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